You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
