The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
