Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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