i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
