It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
