He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize