She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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