ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
