I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
