I'm laying in your front yard are you home
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
