I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
