Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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