did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I want is dick and wine.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
