I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
