I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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