You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
