so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
