she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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