oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
