The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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