too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
