She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
