The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
