I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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