Whod you bang
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
