I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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