okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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