just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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