we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
