Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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