No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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