her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
