I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
