She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
