i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
