Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
