Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
