i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
