Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
