my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
