So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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