You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
