I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
