i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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