so explain again why im purple
no
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
