bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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