Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
