Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
last night I used snow as a chaser
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
