Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
