I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
