he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
