I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
this hospital has no fireball
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
