the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
