i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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