i think my mom watched the whole time
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
