I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
